Which of the following best describes you on a Monday morning?
- Up before the sun, doing gentle yoga stretches while waiting for your herbal tea to steep.
- Hitting the snooze button a third time, rolling over with a groan and hitting the floor with a thud.
- Gulping down your third cup of coffee while frantically trying to remember where you left the car keys.
- Mmmphf. Gggruugkkh… Zzzzzz…….
Some people are morning persons, while others are clearly not. Even among the morning crowd, there are the Monday morning persons and the I’m-not-ready-to-start-the-week-give-me-five-more-minutes people. It’s fair to say that GodzillaPin falls into the latter category. He’s a lot better now than when they first met; back in the day his week didn’t start till around noon of Tuesday. Granted, he saw his six-month exchange programme as nothing but one long holiday of sun, sand and surf, which may explain his inability to show up on campus.
By virtue of the fact that the Ninja Turtle has spent her entire childhood in more or less a chronically sleep-deprived state, Monday mornings don’t hurt as much, for she has learnt to rely on a most useful mechanism of coping with mornings – coffee. The only thing that changes on Monday mornings is the intensity and strength of the coffee. Even then, the most energetic of us sometimes feel a little “blah”.
In moments like these, the idea of being a house pet becomes very enticing. Look at your pet dog/cat/snake/fish/rabbit/frog/rock. Watch it very closely. Does it look like it suffers from Monday blues? Of course not. They have nowhere to go, no one to meet, nothing to do except roll over and demand a belly rub. They don’t even bother waking up for food, that can come later. No, Monday mornings are clearly designed for one single activity.
Thus, the Ninja Turtle pondered over the hideousness of Monday mornings while out on her morning run, but was soon distracted by the glorious sunlight that danced atop the trees, illuminating their leaves that burnt a brilliant mélange of crimson, bronze and gold. There was beauty in this world on a Monday morning after all.
And so the arguments for embracing a Monday morning started to snowball, as the Ninja Turtle shuffled along.
It’s the beginning of not only a day, but a week. May as well start it on the right note.
It’s the only alliteration for the week: Monday Morning. No other day of the week gives you this, unless you count Saturday/Sunday Sundown, which can be either most promising, or kind of depressing. Monday Midnight is no better, it begs the question of why one is awake at this time – was Monday not hard enough for you that you haven’t passed out in exhaustion?
The memories of the weekend are still fresh in one’s mind on a Monday morning, when you can still believe you’re young and fun, living an exciting life. By mid-week they fade into an ephemeral wisp of a suggestion, and by Friday it’s easy to believe that your only existence is that within the four walls of your office. That’s why one never feels the need for a stiff drink on a Monday morning.
There, don’t you feel better already about Monday mornings? If not, take comfort in the knowledge that almost everyone else struggles with it, as much if not more than you do. There are worse things to be in this world on a Monday morning than a human being.
See? Some clearly have it worse than we do.